The Lonely Mountain: Journey to the Blue Mountains
by BML Hillen-Keene
Summary: Thorin Oakensheild returns from the battle of Moria to an even more devastating slaughter. With their women and children cut down to a dwindling few, the last of his line and King-Without-A-Mountain, Thorin must lead his people to the Blue Mountains, a long journey fraught with great danger, to give them a place of safety. Disclaimer: Don't own
1. Chapter 1

Summary: _Thorin Oakensheild returns from the battle of Moria to an even more devastating slaughter._ _With their women and children cut down to a dwindling few, the last of his line and King-Without-A-Mountain, Thorin must lead his people to the Blue Mountains, a long journey fraught with great danger, to give them a place of safety._ _Along the way, the displaced young King may find hope again, but is the cost too high_? **Notes**

_I have taken great liberties with the history of Middle Earth, for example I am making the Battle at Moria take place far later than it did orginally so it ties in better with Fili and Kili's ages, I also had it last far longer than it really did._

_This is also AU. You have been warned so please do not complain about it. Aside from that it will be mostly Cannon compliant if I ever let it get that far._

The dwarves that returned were so unlike the proud army that had crossed Middle Earth to reclaim the ancient halls of Moria, that it would have been easy to mistake them for naught but a band of dirty mercenaries; armour rent, faces still covered in the dirt of the hundreds of graves that had been dug, stinking of blood and fire and desolation. The had failed, and this truth could be read in each face, in the slow trudge of their feet and the slump of their shoulders. It was a weary group that returned across the rolling hills and through the scant forests back to the edges of the bog lands they had been forced to take their refuge in.

They returned, few in number and heavy of heart.

It was growing dark as they crested the last hill and had view of the small settlement they had built here after they had been pushed from the human towns they had sought some sanctuary in, their presence unwelcome after disease had struck. They eked out a living here, but it was not enough to truly live for long. Which had been why so many dwarves had joined the army to fight for Moria, they needed to be in their halls, surrounded by stone. They needed to retake Erabor. But until that time Moria would have made a suitable home.

Thorin, Prince of Erabor, now named Oakensheild, King-Without-A-Mountain, walked at the fore of his remaining army and looked down the hill, in the fading light and breathed a sigh of relief to see it. Not so glad though that he would have to tell his dearest sister of the loss of their family, to tell his sister-sons of their fathers death, though the youngest was but a babe and would likely never remember.

It was not until he was halfway down the hill that he felt a prickle of unease, his eyes fixed on the settlement. He swept his gaze across it and the land around it and felt his heart stop as he made out crude markers, near invisible in the growing darkness, markers that denoted graves.

They had been gone three years, but surely... surely so many could not have passed on in tat time.

There was an uneasy feeling that passed through all the dwarves on the hill, and silence fell completely hands gripping weapons and their steps became more cautious as they continued on. The settlement was still, too still. Not even a wisp of smoke from a cooking fire rose from it. The closer they got the more markers they saw, and it was clear the soil was freshly dug. A sickness perhaps?

Thorin shifted his grip on his sword as he stepped through the gate, his unease growing as he saw it was obviously forced, dented and broken. An attack then... but by whom? And were there survivors, or would they find the bodies of those who had not yet been buried and those who had tried to bury them? It was a sickening thought, but one Thorin knew to be crossing the minds of all those who followed him.

This settlement had held only women and children, and some youths who were not yet old enough to join with the army and a handful of warriors to protect them.

"Who goes there?" came a weary voice, a terrible kind of weary, one of youth that has seen too much.

Thorin looked around, trying to spot the speaker, but the shadows surrounding them made it impossible.

"Bofur!" came a cry from behind him, followed by a string of ancient speak Thorin recognised to be Bifur, who had suffered a terrible wound in the battle and was lucky o only have lost his ability to speak anything but the Ancient language of their people.

There was a startled sound in the darkness, and suddenly a youth, barely over 90 if that stumbled out, eyes wide, looking increadiably young under a large hat. He was followed by another youth, perhaps ten or twenty years younger. They both looked gaunt and tired.

"Cousin Bifur?" the youth called, revealing himself to indeed be the Bofur named.

"Lad," Thorin said, startling the child into looking at him. "What has happened here?"

Bofur did not hold his gaze, dropping his eyes to the ground. "Goblins... we think... We... they..."

Thorin stepped forward, resting a hand on the lads shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze which made the lad sag a little. "Where is my sister? The Lady Dis." he had no doubt his sister would have gathered the survivors together and hid them away somewhere.

"Lady Dis?" Bofur said, his face contorted in confusion before suddenly it cleared.

Thorin felt dread rise in him before the youth even opened his mouth.

"She... she died... near two months ago... during the third raid after the goblins took her... en the goblins took the babes."

The babes? Thorin's heart froze. His sister dead and his sister-sons... "My nephews, are they... are they still with us?" he asked urgently.

He let go of the boy when no answer was forthcoming, knowing that they were not. He felt Dwalin, his ever faithful friend, come to stand beside him, and watched numbly as Bofur was suddenly crowded by those who had wives and sisters and children in the settlement, each one demanding to know the fate of their families. Until Bifur, cut them all off with some harsh words, gathered his young cousin to him, and the other youth who might be Bofur's brother.

It was a gathering of grief that followed two younglings through the crude houses and to a small enclosure they must have built that housed the remains of their people. Such a pitiful few there were now, not more than thirty women left from three hundred, with may-haps four dozen children of varying ages, and pitifully few babes.

Thorin saw it all, and as he watched the grief consume all those, he felt his own clawing at his heart. Ripping it from him and leaving him cold inside.

He was the last of his line. A King without a Kingdom. And now it looked as if he might be a king without a people.


	2. Chapter 2

The decision to leave was not one made lightly. They could hold the settlement if they desired, there were enough warriors returned to do so. But ghosts walked through the town and no one was unaffected by them.

The first attack had come three months previous, in the dead of night when the babes were abed and the youths gathered to drink and tell tales of the warriors returning with news that Moria was now theirs. The first raid hit the hardest as no one had been prepared. The warriors had stood until each and every one had been cut down simply by sheer numbers, and the Goblins sacked each and every house and where they could they killed the mothers and stole the babes from their beds. The attack was quick and brutal, as was every raid after each one claimed more lives as the oldest of the younglings took up arms to protect the remaining women and children and where cut down by a deadly foe and their own inexpiriance of battle. As women died to protect their babes and the small ones themselves were carried off.

Dis had died protecting the settlement, driven to a terrible rage when she found the Goblins eating the children they had stolen, they said she had witnessed her own child killed in this fashion and it drove her to a battle rage the likes of which none had ever seen. There had been one final raid after this which had been the most devestating, leaving so many dead, the streets littered with bodies.

Bofur and Bombur, the eldest of the few youths left had arranged the burials then, doing the best they could, rallying those they could to help, following the old rituals as best they could with only the barest knowledge of them and commiting each body to the earth so that it may be reborn.

Yes, it was a hard decision to make, but no one disputed it. They were ready to leave in less than a day, and as dawn broke after their second night they began their exodus across Middle Earth and to the only place of safety they had left. The women and children were huddled in the middle, the Youths mingled with them, for though they had proven themselves capable enough to defend, there was still a need to protect them too.

"Where do we go?" Balin asked, though he already knew.

"The Blue Mountains." Thorin replied softly. There was nowhere else, they would need to rebuild their entire lives, but it would be safe, until the time to take back Erabor came. Though now there would be none but he to rule it. It made his throat catch just slightly, but he hardened his heart against the emotion again. He had lost much, all here had, but he had to put aside his own grief now, he had to be strong if he intended to lead his people.

"Aye." Balin said softly, offering him a look of compassion that Thorin ignored.

The pace was slow, with so many injured, and children in their midst and Thorin felt anxious, always alert to danger. They stopped only when they had to and only long enough to eat and sleep. There was danger everywhere and all knew it, and the journey was long... too long perhaps.


	3. Chapter 3

Thorin sat alone, keeping watch over his people, allowing his warriors the rare chance to relax. It had been weeks and the distance crossed was so pitifully small, but Thorin knew he could force it no faster. They were safe enough here for them to take a few days to recover before the next leg of the journey began. The crossing of the mountains would be a long and dangerous trek.

The children played close, cautioned against straying too far and watched like hawks. The women ramained safely enclosed as well within the ranks of the man, never let out of sight. The two that were carrying babes still inside them were doted upon by all. Dwarves were a hardy race, but each and every one of the company was tired beyond belief, and hurting from wounds that were not all be seen.

Thorin could not bring himself to join them, unable to take comfort from anyone yet, unable to share grief. He had pulled his hair back into a severe grieveing braid, threaded through what beads he he had been able to salvage from his sisters house, her beads and those of her children that they would never wear.

"You have aquired a shadow." Dwalin said, bringing Thorins attention to him as he dropped down onto the the rock Thorin had claimed as his own.

Thorin was not blind to the small dwarfling doing his best to remain hidden in a patch of long grass not far from the rock, blond hair pulled up into a messy knot on his head as no one truly had the time to spend braiding the childrens hair. Those left without parents were often looked after in the simplist of fashions. It would change of course, likely before they even reached the Blue Mountains, when childless fathers and mothers would take an orphan as their own and family groups would form.

Thorin snorted lowly. He was not blind to the child, but he would not encourage him either.

"My friend." Dwalin said, resting a hand on Thorins arm. "It is ok to grieve."

"I do not have time to grieve." Thorin told him, his voice a growl.

Dwalin frowned deeply. "If you leave it too long your heart will become as stone. You know this."

"Then so be it." Thorin said, unhappy at the reminder of his likely fate.

Dwalin let out a sigh, but said nothing further. They sat in watchful silence and Thorin found his gaze drawn back more than once to the small lad peering out at him with wide blue eyes. Eventually Dwalin moved away, making vague noises about checking the area around them before darkness fell in earnest. The cooking fires were already lit and Thorin stood to go down, knowing that they wouldnot eat until he had recieved the first bowl. An old travelling tradition but it would not do to flaunt the old superstitions on a journey such as this.

The paused at the small cussock of grass and said gruffly. "Back to the fires lad."

Blue eyes blinked at him and a small hand pressed against the boys mouth, as if he were shocked that he had been discovered. There was a silent staring contest before the child turned tail and raced back to the group. Thorn was torn with a sudden desire to laugh at the boys reaction and to try for the spirited nephew he had lost.

He carefully schooled his face and pushed that emotion away.


	4. Chapter 4

The peaceful days of rest were long behind them as they ascended the mountains. Where they could the warriors did without their cloaks, wrapping them instead around the women and children. It was late in the year, the mountains were dangerous enough in the summer months, but on the cusp of winter they were treacherous. Already snow lay upon the peaks and the air was thin and frigid. But they needed to cross now before the year was out if they had any hope of hollowing out the Blue Mountains before the next winter came.

The pace had slowed even further as the need for caution overcame the need for speed. The wind howled unmercifully around them. The younger children were carried now in the arms of the men which made the climb even more treacherous. When one of the warriorsmbled, sending his precious load toppling into the snow and down the incline, Thorin was moving before he could think at the startled cry of the child.

He struggled through the snow and plucked the dark bundle of cloth from it and into his arms, which curled around the small body with a near forgotten familiarty that made his heart ache for a moment. Small hands reached out to latch onto his fur cloak tightly. He did not even try to dislodge the child to return it to the dwarf who had carried it before. He simply could not make himself, instead drawing his cloak around the child and tucking it against his chest.

It was not until some time later, when he feltsmall fingers tug at a braid in his beard that he looked down and recognised the child as the boy who had been following him around. The hand withdrew when the child realise he had been discovered he blond head ducked away to bury itself into Thorin leather jacket.

Thorin just tightened his hold and kept walking.

When they had stopped for the night and set up a small huddled camp, Thorin found the boy glued to his side, he could hardly take a step without tripping over the child. He held his tongue, because the child deserved no anger. Eventually, when he had enough of Dwalin's stifle chuckles as he bumbled his way about, he took a seat, casting his friend a dark glare.

The child hovered alongside him, clearly unsure of what he was supposed to do, or even what he was allowed to. But obviously determined to stay as close to Thorin as he could manage. It took one shiver wracking the small frame for Thorin to reach for him, settling him in his lap and wrapping his cloak around him again.

They sat in contented silence as the food was doled out and Thorin recieved the first bowl. The dwarf was content to let the silence lie, thinking the child had perhaps fallen asleep. Then he felt the soft tug at his beard braid again and he looked down. "Do you like that little one?" he asked, his voice pitched low, but it still startled the child, who blinked up at him, sudden concern flashing across his face. But as Thorin held that unsure blue gaze he saw the boy rally his corage to reply.

"Yes sir."

Thorin remembered his nephews interest in his braids, the few he did wear, questioning the meaning behind each one and his elation at being allowed to practice with his uncles hair. Perhaps the child had similar memories of the same thing with his own father or uncle. Thorin touched a handto the messy top knot on the boys head which he was sure had not been tended to since it had been hastily ut in weeks ago. Making a quick decision he slipped a hand into his pocket for his comb.

He ignored the not so muffled chuckle from Dwalin, and the compassionate smile from Balin, and shifted the child to face away from him and undid the cord holding the hair in place. A vertiable cascade of dirty blond hair fell down the childs back and Thorin began to carefully untangle the mess.

"What is your name little one?" he asked quietly.

"Fili." the boys replied without hesitation, slumpumping forward a little as he relaxed into the soothing strokes of the comb.

"Fili." Thorin repeated. "A strong name."

Fili made no response and they lapsed again into silence once more and byt the time Fili's hair was tangle free the boy was slumped in sleep. Thorins fingers threaded through the fine hair, parting it into small strands without thought and slowly he began to tug each one into a small braid with deft fingers, singeing the ends with a small flame to keep them from unravelling. A style he remembered his mother pulling his hair into when he was a child to keep his wild locks from getting tangled and out of control, and one he had seen his dearest sister repeat on her son.

It took little effort and soon he was drawn into conversation with the other elders about their journey, shifting his arms easily to accomadate the small body.


	5. Chapter 5

Fili seemed rather taken with his head full of braids when he woke he next morning. He made no fuss, to Thorin's gratefulness when he was returned to the arms of the warrior who had carried him before. But whenever they stopped Thorin regained his silent shadow and he found he could not help but lift the boy into his lap, cacooning him in his cloak and letting him play with his beard braids or his royal crest that the boy had taken an interest in. Fili was always respectfully quiet throughout the meetings Thorin had with those he now considered to be advisors, and it was easy to forget he was there.

No one mentioned the bond that was clearly growing between them, but Thorin knew it was viewed as a mixed Blessing. Caring for the the child was keeping his heart from becoming stone as he still refused to Share his grief with anyone. But he could not ignore the implications completely. He was forming family bonds with the boy, natural enough, already it was happening throughout the company, a way to ensure that all children were cared for and their people would continue on.

But he knew, in the part of his heart that wept for his dead kin, that he needed to stop this, to cast the boy aside before they grew any closer. Fili was not his blood, and he could not, as King, take the child on as his own, he knew this, but he could not bring himself to break the boys heart. Not when the boys eyes lit up around him, and small arms would wind around his leg while he stood directing the setting and packing of the camp.

By the time they reached the other side of the mountains Fili had become an intregal part of his routine, his eyes sought him out if he was not with him, though more often than not now Fili walked beside him as they reached the clearer slopes and the snow was left behind, always quiet and unobtrusive but unmistakably there. Or was rested upon Thorin's broad shoulders when he legs grew tired.

The plains that streached before them were open enough that Thorin allowed himself to relax somewhat, they could see for miles around so attack would be easy to see. They still kept close, knitted together, women and children still to the middle with the men ranged around the outside.

Relaxed, after all, did not mean unprepared.

Which was the only reason the night raid by orcs did not end in more tragedy than their slowly recovering people could bear.


	6. Chapter 6

Thorin woke to the first cry of warning, sitting bolt upright, his arm clenching tight around Fili, who had spent the night curled once more against his chest. Dwalin was already on his feet, axe in hand. Thorin loosed his sword with ease as he stood, leaving the sheath on the ground, taking in the danger with quick turns of his head.

"Hide." he hissed urgently in Fili's ear, "and do not come out until I call for you."

He felt the child nod and with a trepediation he squashed into nothing he lowered his to his feet and spared a glance to watch him scamper away from the fightening and into the tall grass. He passed a prayer to Mahal that the boy remain unharmed, and then turned his full attention to the Orcs.

The fight was fast and deadly and the orcs seemed keen to break their ranks pushing forward with a fury Thorin worried over. They had not passed close to Moria so as to avoid an attack by Orc's they had battled before, but perhaps all orcs held the grudge of one. There was a scream as Wargs joined the fray, cutting down the dwarves to the east and landing among the women and children who scattered instinctively.

Thorin cursed. This was exactly the orcs plan, to seperate the weak from the strong and pick them off. "Dwalin!" he yelled above the clash of weapons, and he saw his friends head turn to him, his battle lust only just kept in check. "Kill the Wargs!"

Dwalin nodded, and in a few strides he was among the wargsnd his axe swung with deadly precision and Thorin heard his friends voice rise in a true cry of battle and contented himself that the Wargs would be dealt with. "Balin, as many as you can spare, find the women and children, keep them protected!" he cried out them to Dwalins brother, who nodded shortly and took off quickly to gather those that could be spared to do the task he was set.

Thorin cut and slashed with such ferocity he could have been named a Battleborn himself, keeping his eyes sharp for the leader of this company. Like all animals, if you took out the leader the rest of the beasts would fall back. Eventually he spotted the leader, decked out in the skins of those it had killed, contenting itself at the very edge of the battleand with a cry of rage Thorin charged towards him.

The orc met him with its own blade ready and a sharp grin upon its face. It was fast and furious and the orc pressed every advantage it had, but Thorin was driven by something far stronger and soon his blade was sheathed in the body of the orc and with a vicious twist which rent a death cry from the beast he turned the blade and sliced up, his body twisting so that he was facing the battle behind him as the Orc fell.

The orcs fled, just had he had known they would, cowards to the last, and Thorin breathed heavy as they went past him, untouched. When they were gone he strode forwards, letting the fight drain from him and his voice joined those of the others searching for their loved ones.

It was hours later, when dawn was breaking across the sky, that stock was finally taken. Dwalin, still possessed of the Battle Lust had set out with some others to secure their new location, and to ensure that none had been left behind at the battle site, and if he could to rip a few more orcs and wargs into pieces.

With Fili held tight to his side Thorin listened with a heavy heart to a tally of the dead.

"Six of the women." Balin said, his tone weary. "And at least a dozen of the children, those not fast enough to get away when the wargs came amoung them."

Thorin closed his eyes. They were dwindling further, soon there would be none left. "Arrange for the burials." he said softly. Balin nodded and went to move away, but Thorin stayed him with a hand. "The young ones, do not let them help even if they ask. They have dealt with too many already." he saidnowing his friend would understand.

He took up a watchful stance after this, and waited for Dwalins return, picking out the relieved slump of the young Bofur and Bombur who had offered to help bury the bodies out of respect, when Balin refused their aid with a reassuring smile, sending them instead to care for the living.

"Uncle." came Fili's soft voice near his ear, startling him.

For a moment Thorin was not sure how to respond, his entire body frozen with that one word, but just as quickly he could feel the family bond reassert itself, and the discomfort he had been feeling before now with it settled into a far more natural groove. "Yes Fili?" he asked.

But the boy said nothing further, just buried his head into Thorins fur cloak and his shoulders began to shake as the shock finally set in. Gloin, one of those he was coming to rely upon gave him a small nod and took his place on watch, allowing Thorin to find a place to sit and comfort the child. Stroking his braids and letting the boy cry out all of the pain and fear and grief he needed to. Eyes sweeping the rest of the camp where he could see others doing the same.

It was night before all the burials were complete and the dwarves set the tast returned. A complete silence covered the camp that was made and everyone was packed in as closely as they could manage, taking comfort from each other as darkness fell once more. Thorin was not one for words, so he said nothing, instead he doubled the watchnd sat watch over his people himself that night.

Dwalin came to him late, returning after the others and carrying a bundle of cloth in his hands. Balin and Gloin gathered, with Gloins brother Oin joining them also and Dwalin presented Thorin with what remained of their two women who had been carrying babes inside them. A single babe, tiny and so clearly, heartbreakingly alive.

"Ripped from his mothers womb by the claws of a warg." Dwalin said, a touch of reverence in his voice.

Thorin closed his eyes. A Battleborn. Battleborn where held in both great esteem and looked upon in fear. Dwalin himself had been born in midst of battle while his father and brother fought to protect his mother from goblins. And this was clearly seen as he suffered the Battle Lust, though less of one than some Battleborn. This child had been ripped from his mothers body before his time. This was a true Battleborn, with all the grandure and terror that would come with it.

"There are no women who can take him to teat." Oin said gruffy. "And none who would if they could."

It was tradtition that a Battleborn not be fed at the breast as it was believed they grew stronger that way. "What are we to do then?" Thorin asked, his eyes falling to Balin, who would surely know more than them all.

"If there is no parent the child has to go to the highest born Warrior in the company." Balin said. "It is an honour to have a Battleborn as a ward, if not an adopted son."

Thorin gave him an increadulous look, and when he recieved nothing but earnest honesty in return he turned his gaze to the others around him, each of whom looked back expectantly. "Youexpect me to care for a babe?" he asked Caring for Fili was one thing, the boy was old enough that he did not need help with most things, but a babe?

"It is tradtition." Balin repeated softly.

Dwalin gave his friend a small grin and handed across the bundle. "No fear my friend, we shall help. You will need it I think."

Of that Thorin had no doubt, not when he knew of his friends disposition, and this child was bound to be thrice as reckless and dozen times more insane, and to top it off he would likely be the most cheerful little sod Thorin would ever have the displeasure to know. But he accepted the bundle with the arm not holding Fili and looked down as the the babe, whose hand was crammed into his mouth and eyes screwed up tight in sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Thorin woke sometime mid morning, having finally allowed himself to sleep as the night passed once more into day and no attack came in the dark. He had been unsure of how to sleep with the babe in arms so he had simply allowed himself to slouch back against the rock behind him. His arms were empty when he woke and he started in a most undignified fashion when he realised this.

There was a small chuckle from above him and he tilted his head back to catch Dwalins small knowing grin. When he glared the other dwarf simply nodded a little way to the right, where Thorin was glad to see Fili sitting, firce concentration on his young face as he tried to coax a squirming baby into trying some of the cold porriage that had been left beside Thorin after breakfast had been made to keep with tradtition that he recieve the first bowl. There was not a single ounch of annoyance in the childs frame despite the fact that the babe had not yet taken any food.

"I do not think babes so young eat porriage Fili." he said.

Fili turned his head, face spliting into a merry grin. "Uncle!"

Thorin ignored the choking sound as Dwalin tried to bite back his surprise at the bold statement. Though why there should be any surprise he did not know, the family bond was obvious. Fili got to his feet slowly, arms shifting to keep hold of the babe and carried him to Thorin.

"Porriage has milk in it, and babes need milk." the boy said knowledgeably. "Mama told me so."

Thorin glanced at the bowl of porriage, knowing it was made with water as they had run out of milk a long time back. This was the first time Fili had mentioned his mother, but the memory he shared of milky porriage in the morning was obviously not one of ditress, so Thorin said nothing. "Then we should perhaps get some milk for him." he said instead.

"I called him Kili." Fili said, his chin ducking down, and his arms moving to hold the babe tighter.

Thorin frowned at that, not so much that Fili had taken it upon himself to name the child he had clearly already decided was his brother, but that he had chosen a girlchild name for him. Thorin opened his mouth to question, but found the words stuck when Fili raised his head again to meet his eyes.

"Mama was going to have a babe before she went back to the earth."

Thorin wisely decided not to question the choice now. Dwarven women had an uncanny ability to predict the gender of the child they carried, so the name was clearly one that had been chosen and bandied about long before the babe was due to be born. Fili of course was not to know the sibling he would have had would have been a girl, it was bad luck to say out loud before it was pronounced by the midwife.

"It is a good name." he said instead. He turned his attention then to Dwalin. "Find out where the nearest town is, we are going to need milk, and other supplies. If you can find somewhere that we can spend the winter."

Dwalin nodded. "I'll set Balin to it, he should have some maps of the area."

Thorin nodded and watched him go, his mind already careening ahead. They would need to push on as far as they could before winter crept down on them from the north, but to truely survive the winter they would need a place to stay, a town so that they could trade food and shelter from the harsh weather that would come..

There was still so much to plan for, and so much to worry over. They were not even near to halfway to the Blue Mountains and Thorin felt that the journey was looking bleaker by the day. He pushed these thoughts aside when Balin came to him baring a satchel of maps and old books.

Fili settled in close to his side as they planned, happily playing with the babe in his arms


	8. Chapter 8

Winter set in harshly, blanketing the land in snow near as tall as a dwarf, but they struggled through it as best they could, having built a temporary shanty town on the edge of a human town. As food became scarcer, and the few treasures they possessed were hoarded for later in the journey for when they needed to buy something quickly, they took what jobs they could, anything that would allow them that little extra food, or cloth to keep them alive and well throughout the winter months.

Thorin, who had himself taken work in a blacksmiths, as he had not had to do since before they marched on Moria, was never so glad that he had allowed Balin to convince him to purchase a small herd of goats, mostly nanny's, for milk. It was all, sometimes, that they had for nourishment as the humans were hoarding what food they had to themselves. But as of yet no one had died, and that was all Thorin could ask.

Kili was flourishing either despite or because of the harsh conditions, one could never be certain with a Battleborn, and Fili had grown easily into his role as older brother. Thorin could no more stop the swell of pride at his bond-nephews than he could grow to the size of an elf.

The house they weathered the winter in was small, and housed not only he and the boys, but also Dwalin, Balin, Gloin and Oin, and they had made room for Bifur, Bofur and Bombur as well as the three seemed to be set apart from the others for reasons Thorin could guess at but did not delve into out of respect. It was a good arrangement as the two Youths were happy to entertain and care for the boys when Thorin could not, and Thorin would often return to find some new toy made from odd scraps of material, or to wild stories of the adventures they had within the shack.

Bofur and Bombur were unrepentant, though a good number of the toys were passed out to the other remaining children. Life continued on, as weeks rolled into months and the winter kept a constant howl outside.

Balin brought the topic up one evening just after midwinter, while they shared a pipe together, and the smoke left everyone feeling contented.

"When do you intend to formalise the bond?"

It took a moment for Thorin to fully realise what Balin was refering to, but when he did he growled low, regretting it when Kili stirred from his sleep to open his dark eyes and gave him what could only be termed a baleful look for disturbing him, but the babe did not cry, just snuffled slightly before his eys closed again. "You know I cannot." he said when he was sure both children were asleep.

"Why not?" Gloin asked, frowning deeply, his voice rough. "It would be obvious to a rock that you love them."

"That," Thorin replied, his tone growing sharp, "is not why."

Gloin looked unhappy at this, a look of affront crossing his face

"My friend." Dwalin spoke then, a look of knowing on his face, shared by his brother.

There was silence then for a time, until Bofur, until to curb his curiosity spoke up. "What's the problem?"

Balin answered him. "If Thorin was to formalise the family bond he has formed with Fili and Kili, when he takes a wife and has children of his own, then they, because they would be his blood would be named his heirs."

"But Fili would be the eldest." Bofur said with a frown, clearly not understanding.

"That may the case in normal families," Oin pointed out, "But in those of the high born families have other traditions. When a family bond is formed, if the child will be older than the parents own blood kin then they never formalise it. It is considered unwise to do otherwise."

"When I have children of my own, for I must if my line is to continue, then to take either of these boys in as true family would bring only shame on them." Thorin continued.

Bofur looked unhappy with this pronouncement and shifted back to his brother and cousinwith a frown on his face tht said clearly that he ws very glad he was not a high born dwarf and did not find their traditions to be very good.

"But you forget something Thorin." Balin said suddenly a small smile toying at the corners of his mouth.

Thorin gave him a baleful look, wanting only to quell this conversation quickly. "What have I overlooked?"

Balin looked rater self satisfied when he answered. "Your heir does not have to be of your blood, and your line can continue on regardless."

Thorin scowled. "That is an ancient law Balin, and one that has not been invoked since the beginning of Erabor! And only aplicable when there is no chance of blood heirs being born!"

Dwalin shifted slightly then, leaning forward. "There are no nobles left Thorin save us." he gestured to his brother, Oin and Gloin. "And none of us have any sisters or daughters you could wed for these heirs. You could go out into the camp and take one of the women we have left, but we all know that is not your way Thorin."

"You never truly intended to wed at all." Balin reminded him. "Your heirs were your sister-sons everyone knew this and everyone accepted it."

"They were my blood kin!" Thorin snapped. "Put this matter to rest. I will speak no more on it."

The silence that fell after was heavy, and Thorin felt something shift in his chest and he found, to his shame, that he wanted to let loose the tears he had kept dammed within him for so long.


	9. Chapter 9

Sharing grief was an important aspect of death for dwarves. To refuse to share grief was to make your heart as stone. A terrible fate for any who succumbed to it, for stone was cold and lifeless, and while those who suffered this terrible affliction could carry on as they had before, what made them dwarves was lost to them.

Thorin had been sitting on the cusp of this since Moria and if he was not careful he would soon be able to add another title to his ever growing collection, and when he did there would be no going back from it. Once a Stoneheart, always a stone heart. All chipping away at that stone would do would be to make his heart smaller. Fili had stayed him on the right side in the months since the family bond had begun, and though he was still unsure of a similar bond with the babe, he knew it was only time before that had cememted in place as well.

But it would be wrong of him to take it further and he knew this. So Thorin closed himself off again ignoring the reproachful looks from his house companions as winter finally began to melt away into spring. It was best perhaps to sever the ties now than to watch the boys hearts break when they realised they could not come first in his life. But even so, Balins bold statement stayed with him also, haunting his thoughts.

To name an heir not of blood for a highborn family, especially the royal line, was unheard of unless all a kings sons had died in battle and there was no sister or brother-sons to name in their stead, then the king could name an heir of a cousin, or in rare instances, someone of a lower family who had proven themselves to be worthy of the role. But this was only ever done when there was no chance of a blood heir being produced before the king, or lord, died and normally named on the battlefield as death encroached upon them.

Thorin could not, in good conscience do this, because when he did take a wife and have blood kin of his own again they would become his heirs before Fili, which would bring such shame upon the young dwarf and Thorin could not bare to see him shamed as unfit for purpose.

But Balin was right about one thing for certain. He had never intended to take a wife for himself, his sister-sons had been names his heirs before they had even been born, a promise made when Dis was wedded as it was well known between those closest to him that he had no time for things such as romance. He would preform his duty and that would be the end of it and it was not fair to expect a woman to live a loveless marriage even if it was to the king, such as he was.

His thoughts whirled in such circles near constantly, and to keep his mind from them he set himself ruthlessly to planning the next stage of their journey. Fili never spoke up about Thorins sudden distance, just accepted it and continued on as he had, but still he would sit next to him at night and Thorin could never find it in him, despite his determination to do just that, to ave him there. Before Fili fell away into sleep Thorin would settle him into his arms and listen to the tales of his day and what endlessly interesting thing Kili had done that was worthy of note.

Gloin watched them with a frown now, still unhappy that he had dismissed him so out of hand. But then, Gloin was a Bond-child of his family taken in late in life. It was understandable that he would be more invested in the bond being formalised than the others. Though the small unhappy looks he caught Bofur sending their way bespoke of his own status as Bond-child, and as the elder he was of course the heir to his fathers line, even if he was not blood kin.

To be a commoner was perhaps far easier than being a highborn.

And as he held the boys he already considered to be his nephews, he wished, briefly, that his life could be made easier just once. Just on this matter.

But he was Thorin Oakenshield, King-Without-A-Mountain and soon to be Stoneheart, and life, fate and destiny did not seem to look kindly upon him.


	10. Chapter 10

Spring started well at the very least, which Thorin was grateful for. Their route was carefully planned to allow them to avoid potential attacks by orcs, or others who would attack them for the supposed fortunes they carried with them, a dwarf on the road was always in danger of bandits, despite the fact that all knew they had lost everything in Erabor save a few heirlooms that were quickly dwindling away.

Spring was always the worst time for attacks by bandits, especially if the winter had been a harsh one. The goats were herded along in front of them, followed by some of the older youths, already it had swelled in size as kidds were born and milk became more plentiful, and as the spring went on meat would no longer be whatever game animals they had managed to snare overnight and the concoctions set to boil over the fires would become thicker.

Spring was a time for new hope, and life, and despite the journey still being a long one, already some of the remaining women were whispering about babes in their bellies. Winter had been kind to some it seemed, and the warriors with whom these women had lain had pride etched into their faces. By the time they reached the Mountains there would be a swell amongst them as well.

Or so Thorin hoped.

It added more worry to the journey certaintly, but no one could feel anything but happiness after so much death and dispair. Of course, this happiness brought looks of siginificance to Thorin from his friends, Balin in particular. Would he take any of these women from the men they had chosen to lay with as his wife? Thorin wore a scowl near permanantly etched upon his brow, because no, he would do no such thing.

Dwalin was not making things any easier, which made Thorin angry with his friend, who had been his companion through much of his life, and he had hoped for more understanding. Case in point. Dwalin had taken hold of the boys, swinging Fili up to his shoulders and was carrying Kili with one arm and was regaling the child with a much watered down version of Thorins own battle with Azog.

Fili listened with rapt attention, his hands fisted tightly in Dwalins ricidiculous mohawk, eyes straying to Thorin at times, wide and filled with hero worship.

"Will I ever get to be so brave?" Fili asked.

Thorins first thought at the question was 'No, you will most certaintly never ever be put in a position where you have to.'

Dwalin gave a laugh, a small one, with a touch of sadness that was easy to overlook if one did not know him. "Of course you will Little Prince. When we take back Erabor."

Thorin turned furious eyes to his friend, who just looked back, unrepentant. Thorin could say nothing as the children were there, but he promised with his glare that he wouldaving a talk with the taller warrior.

It was days before he got his chance, Dwalin was always offering to go on the evening checks around the camp, returning only after he knew the boys were asleep and Thorin could not distangle himself to take him to task, and the days were spent in the company of the boys themselves. And it seemed that once Dwalin had opened the floodgates, all those around him began to refer to Fili and Kili as Princes. It was unfair and he needed to put a stop to it quickly.

When he got his chance it was early evening and he had given Fili into the care of Bofur and Bombur, who had continued to insert themselves into his circle and he had not the heart to send them away again, not when Fili enjoyed their company so much. He invited himself along Dwalins checks and the silence between them was heavy and filled with meaning.

When they were away from the camp Dwalin spoke first, cutting across Thorins own attempt to speak.

"They're already calling Fili your heir." he said, voice low and serious. "With no prompting from any of us, since before the winter even. No one is blind to the bond you share, he calls you Uncle and you have not once refuted that claim he has taken. My friend, your cause is already a lost one. Do yourself a favour and just make it formal."

Thorin was stumped, left blinking at his friend in shock, all his words fled him.

Dwalins hand fell onto his shoulder. "You have kept your grief too long already. Let it go and see what is waiting for you after."

Thorin pulled away, shaking his head. "I cannot." he said, voice hoarse as all the emotion he fought to keep inside strained against the locks he had put on them. "There is too much to do Dwalin, you know this. If I was to give into it then where would my people be? I need to be able to think clearly."

Dwalin gave a short, dreisvie laugh. "If there is one thing your mind is not Thorin, it is clear. It had not been thus since Moria. But sometimes, when you are with those boys and forget yourself, you are the dwarf I call friend and your people call King. Share Grief, move past all this death and look to the future, for Mahal's sake, before you lose everything!"

The remainder of the evening passed in silence, Thorin refusing to awknowledge Dwalins words, and Dwalin dispairing of his friend.


	11. Chapter 11

Then Kili fell ill.

Fili's screams for him were so frantic that Thorin was convinced they were being attacked. He found Fili standing a little distance away, holding Kili around the middle having decided that it was past time Kili learnt to walk like a big dwarf and did his best to teach him how whenever they stopped. The ground around them was wet and the stench of goats milk and the porriage they had eaten this morning hung in the air. Kili was slumped, shoulders heaving as he kept spewing whatever was left inside him onto the ground.

Thorin plucked the babe from Fili, ignoring the wetness as Kili kept heaving his heart clenching at the hitches as the babe tried to draw in breath and failed. He strode through the camp, calling for Oin, Fili following on his heels. Oin found them and took Kili from Thorins arms, tutting and muttering. All Thorin could do was strip himself of his outer tunic and gather Fili into his arms letting the boy bury his head into his neck.

Kili was the first, but within hours all the children were showing signs of the illness, some less than others, of whom Fili was, thank Mahal, one of, and those much, much worse. The children were seperated into groups, with those worse off being moved outside the camps confines to protect those who would recover with no problems. Thorin had been told he should not move between these two camps so as to ensure the ilness was not spread anew, not with Fili recovering in only a few days and a reinfection possible in his weakened state.

Fili asked after Kili constantly, refusing to rest until Thorin told him that his little brother was fine.

Some of the youths passed back and forth from the camps with messages setting themselves up to sleep somewhere in between to keep the quarantine Oin imposed. The one Thorin saw most often was Nori, a youth about Bomburs age, whose older brother was one of those looking after Kili as well as his and Nori's own much younger brother Ori who had been taken badly by the illness.

The news was never good and as the days dragged on Thorin was begining to dread his coming.

"Uncle." Fili said one evening.

"Yes Fili?" Thorin ran his fingers across the braids in Fili's hair, idly reminding himself that he would need to redo them soon.

Fili's voice dropped low then and Thorin had to strain to hear him. "Is Kili going back to the earth like Mama?"

Thorin wanted to say no, wanted to offer comfort. But he could not find the words. They would be lies, because he didn't know, and he could not give Fili hope only to rip it away. Fili took his silence as his answer and the boys shoulders began to shake. Thorin gathered him up, pressing his tight to his chest.

"He is not dead yet." he whispered, his voice harsh with unshed tears of his own. "He is not dead yet. Which means there is still hope."

Fili seemed not to hear him, but small arms wound tightly around his neck. They remained like that for a long time, until finally Fili turned his head sideways, face streaked with tears and heaved a trembling sigh. "Mama was taken away by the monsters." he said softly. "I think... I think maybe that was better."

Thorin blinked, a rush of concern swelled up inside him. What thoughts for a child to hold. "What do you mean?" he asked when he could trust his voice.

"She didn't hurt for long." was all the answer he recieved.

Thorin understood the rest from what he didn't say and found he could not sooth this worry. Kili was being cared for, but there was no denying that he was likely hurting.

"Hurts more to stay." Fili whispered at last, and then his eyes drooped in exhaustion.

Thorin closed his eyes tight, willing the tears back and knowing that he was failing. His mind flashed back, to his grandfather, father and brother. Fallen in battle at Moria at the hands of the Orcs. And his dearest Dis, his sweet baby sister and his sister-sons, cut down my Goblins when they should have been safe, their destinies destroyed in one cruel blow. And Kili, fighting for life still with all the strength of a Battleborn, too young to have to face such a battle at all.

And Fili, his dear Fili, who, just like him, would survive and carry the memories of those he loved like bands of steel locked tight around his chest.

"Yes." he said at last, buring his own face in his nephews hair. "It hurts so much more to stay."

And his grief poured over him in a torrent that he could not stem.


	12. Chapter 12

There was cry and all noise across the camp ceased, all heads turned to see one of the youths barelling across the istance between the camps. Thorin looked up from where he and Balin where bent over a map, reworking part of the journey as they would need to detour to a town when they were ready to move on. He recognised the red hair immediately and his heart stopped. "Fili!" he called urgently, and the boy was at his side in a moment.

He lifted him as he stood himself and met Nori at the edge of the camp. They had been lucky so far, though the illness had not lessened over the two weeks that had been here they had so far not lost any child. Thorin found himself terrified that Nori was bringing news of the first death. Fili's small hands were clamped tight in Thorins hair and the dwarf used the pain to focus himself.

"It broke! The sickness broke! Mister Oin found a cure that works!" Nori announced, breathless, smiling wide.

There was complete and utter silence for a moment before the whole camp erupted into cheers and all those who had children in the smaller camp took off at a run, and Thorin was not ashamed to say he was among them. Oin met him at the edge of the small camp and directed him through, with a warning not to excite Kili overmuch as he was still very weak.

Kili was laid out on a bedroll alongside another small dwarfling, who must have been Nori's younger brother if the way the red headed youth flung himself into the arms of the older dwarf close by before starting to chatter happily with the child. Thorin set Fili down and let him greet his brother, stepping up beside the other dwarf.

"You are Nori's brother yes?" he asked.

The dwarf nodded. "I am Dori." he said.

Thorin clasped his arm tight. "Thank you for caring for my nephew." he said.

Dori seemed surprised, ducking his head slightly. "Oh, well, I didn't do overmuch Majesty, it was Mister Oin who did the real work."

Thorin was near amused by the humility, seeing it was just the way the other was, there was no false modesty in this dwarf. "But still. For what you did. Thank you."

Dori waved his arms. "No, no, no thanks nessecary. I could do no less that ensure one of the Kings heirs be looked after the best I could, truly."

Thorin offered a final smile before he turned his attention back to Fili and Kili, who had blinked open dark eyes and lifted his arms weakly with a small cry. Thorin scooped him up, cradling him carefully against his chest. He let out a short laugh as Fili climbed him as if he were a tree, sprawling over his shoulder so he could see Kili as well.

Kili offered them both a contented smile before his hand was crammed into his mouth and he snuffled himself into sleep. Thorin felt warmed, content himself with the babe in his arms and Fili giggling softly in his ear.


	13. Chapter 13

"Dwalin." Thorin said.

His friend did not start in surprise, which was not unusal no matter how quitely Thorin tried to make himself, Dwalin always knew when he was not alone.

"Thorin.' Dwalin replied. "How are the boys?"

"They are fine, I've left them with Dori." Thorin replied easily, the soft spoken Dwarf was a godsend, happy enough to take over some of the duties Thorin despised the most in regards to caring for Kili. All with a cheerful smile and some story of having to bring up two brothers through this stage. And Fili was enjoying the company of another dwarling near his own age now that Ori was well enough to play again.

Dwalin nodded and the two lapsed into a silence that had been uncomfortable since they had last fought.

"Dwalin." Thorin tried again, and at last his friend turned tired eyes to himand he realised he had been a fool. All this time he had been a fool and cursed all those who had pointed it out to him. He summoned his courage, a courage that was far more than that which was shown in battle, this courage was something deeper, something... something he could not put a name to. "Dwalin. I wish to Share Grief with you."

Dwalins eyes went wide and shone with relief and with a single bound of joy he had swept Thorin up into a tight embrace, muttering all manner of praises, until Thorin beat him back, cuffing his head with a huff of annoyance. But nothing it seemed could take the grin from Dwalins face as they settled themselves down to talk.

Sharing Grief meant just that. Sharing with others the memories of the dead. And though Thorin had sought out only Dwalin, others joined them, Balin, Oin and Gloin, who knew members of Thorins family, who had their own stories to tell, and as the night drew on they laughed and wept, listened and sang, and by the time dawn came Thorin felt lighter.

He returned then to collect his nephews from Dori, settling himself to watch the camp wake, stroking his fingers through Fili's fresh set of braids and rocking Kili gently when te babe began to stir, feeling, for the moment at least, at peace.


	14. Chapter 14

Spring continued without incident, for which Thorin was grateful. They still had much distance to cross, and their pace was slow still. But they would get there. Thorin could feel the hope of that flare inside him. They would get there, and by the grace of Mahal they would get there safely. There were still matters to address, especially regarding his nephews, but Thorin did not let himself dwell of those thoughts very often. When they reached the Blue Mountains he would worry about it.

"Uncle Thorin!" Came Fili's excited cry, and Thorin immediately looked for the shining golden hair, finding his nephew within seconds as Fili had yet to stray far from him at any time. He made his way across, casting Dwalin a disapprovingly glare as he passed just in case his friend should decide to grace him with one of his knowing grins, which were becoming more and more frequent lately and Thorin had yet to work out exactly what Dwalin supposedly knew.

"Look Uncle!" Fili said, pulling Kili to his feet, holding him until he was standing by himself.

Thorin gave Fili a look and said. "I already know he can stand."

Fili gave him a look filled with exasperation that made Thorin have to bite back a smile. Once Kili was standing without aid Fili darted around him to stand beside Thorin, a few feet from the swaying child. "Come on Kili, just like we practiced."

Kili turned big eyes on Fili, who was looking at him imploringly, waving his hands in a 'come over here fashion' then those eyes turned on Thorin, who found the sheer determined concentration in them to be startling sight, and then Kili put one foot forward, wobbling a little in a way that made Thorin want to reach out and catch him, but he stayed himself and waited and as if Kili had had enough of tottering around he took a further five steps rapidly and threw his arms around Thorins knee as his last step stumbled.

Thorin caught the babe under the arms and hefted him into the air, smiling proudly. Kili giggled happily, reaching out to grab a handful of Thorin's hair and tugging it sharply in his own merriment. Thorin didn't bother to scold him like he normally did. Settling him against one shoulder he dropped his other hand onto Fili's head, who reached up to grab his fingers, peering up at him with a small smile.

Once Kili realised he could walk he became a handful, constantly squirming and trying to shimmy out of the arms of whoever was carrying him so he could walk beside his brother. Not that Kili walked so much as tottered around in as close a run as he could manage, already the young Battleborn was looking to try Thorins patience. Such as it was. Along with the running there came the climbing and the hiding.

Fili was normally torn between looking contrite for letting his brother out of sight for the few seconds it took for the child to vanish into thin air, and giggling like a bird as the sight of Thorin trying to find him. Thorin tried his hardest not to lose his temper with either child because in truth neither of them were badly behaved and it would be unfair to be angry with Fili for Kili's inability to stay still.

Thorin came to look forward to when they were on the road, when he could pass Kili to Dori, who had some magic power Thorin was convinced of it. Because he never heard one mention of the boy behaving badly. Fili swore Dori did nothing at all on the days he would go with Kili to play with Ori while they walked. The other time of the day Thorin enjoyed was night, when Kili finally fell asleep and allowed everyone else to rest as well.

This was not to say that he favoured one nephew over the other. Most certainly not. But he could not deny that he did cherish those few hours when Fili walked beside him, or sat on his shoulders and asked him a dozen questions about everything they saw.


	15. Chapter 15

They were reaching the ends of the human lands now and towns grew sparse, so they detoured northwards and towards Bree, the last human settlement before the strange little land of the Shire. Hobbits were kidly folk in their own way, but they did not take to strangers at the best of times, and to descend into their towns with a company as large as the one that followed him was asking for trouble Thorin knew.

They would restock all that they could in Bree and march through the Shire without disturbing the halflings overmuch. Most of the dwarves stayed outside the town, setting up camp for the night. Thorin left Fili and Kili in Dori's care, taking Balin and Dwalin with him along with Bifur, Bofur and Bombur, who had massed a surplus of little toys and wanted to sell them in the town. Thorin allowed it beause they did need the provisions and any extra gold would serve them well.

There were comments about them, many of which Thorin had heard before, and the prices of provisions doubled if they so much as glanced in the direction of a trader. It was a sad fact of life for a dwarf. No matter where you went or who you were, if you were a dwarf you were expected to be laden down with gold and precious stones. They could have argued against the sterotype, but in the end it would likely do no good.

Balin was an excellent haggler, and was able to convince traders to sell them more wares for the few trinkets they had left. But still they left with far less than they likey would need. Bofur and Bombur had rejoined them with satisfied grins and extra gold in their pockets, which they dutifully handed to Balin without arguement, allowing them to buy just that little bit more that would see them through.

It was a sad sight should anyone have bothered to look. But once they reached the Blue Mountains things would get better. They just had to hold onto that hope for now. But something, Thorin couldn't pinpoint what, made him feel uneasy.

The uneasy feeling persisted as they crossed the Brandywine river on the ferry, and he kept a tight hold of his nephews. Kili did not take kindly to this, but Fili pressed close to his leg in silence.

"Thorin?"

Thorin turned his gaze from the group of dwarves still waiting on the shore for the ferry to come back for them to look at Gloin. "I am uneasy." he said, though he could not explain any more than this and it left him frustrated.

Gloin looked back also. "For them?"

Thorin's face took on a scowl, which Kili apparently thought was quite funny as he giggled in delight and patted Thorin's cheek. "I do not know. Just... Uneasy."

Gloin nodded. "I will tell the others."

Thorin nodded and let him go. Resting his hand on Fili's head he looked back at the shore and frowned deeply. Kili had finally given up on patting his face and turned his attention to his hair and Thorin resigned himself to having one of his braids stuffed into the childs mouth. If it kept him from squirming to get down again Thorin was more than happy to let him have at it. Thorins gaze drifted downwards towards the water, noting the current. Nothing seemed to be amiss.

Perhaps that was the source of his unease, they had gone too long without some sort of life threatening situation. He felt a dark amusement bubble up inside him at that thought. To feel uneasy when things were going well for a change. There was a soft thump as they hit land once more and they disembarked as quickly as they could so that the ferry could go back for the others. The unease persisted.

Distangling his hair from sticky fingers and freeing his braid from a mouth growing into its teeth he passed Kili down to Fili. "Keep hold of him Fili, and stay close to Gloin." Fili blinked at him, but obediatly nodded and adjusted his hold on his brother and carried him across to where the bushy red haired dwarf was directing people away from the water. Thorin turned his attention then to the trees that lined the path, his eyes narrowed as he sought to peer through the shadows. There was nothing there, but the closer he got the worse he felt.

He loosed hs sword from its shealth, not drawing it completely but ready should he need it. But still there was nothing. The second ferry load landed, bringing Dwalin with it, and his friend came to stand beside him. "Anything?"

Thorin shook his head. "Mayhaps I am seeing danger where there is none." he said unhappily.

Dwalin offered him a small smile, but it was clear he didn't share Thorins thoughts. "You've never been wrong before."

"Kili stop it!" Thorin heard Fili said loudly, clearing having a difficult time with his brothers squirming. Thorin glanced back at them to see Kili pulling on Fili's braids and pointing in their general direction. He shook his head, considering going back and relieving Fili of his squirming burden when Dwalin, who had followed Kili's actual line of sight had looked up and cursed harshly in the old tongue.

"Everyone get down!" he yelled, and that was all the warning they got before a peppering of arrows rained down on them, followed swiftly by the tall bodies of humans shimying down the trees, weapons in hand. Thorin unsheathed his sword. They were men from Bree, likely bandits of some kind thinking to steal all the gold and gems they carried.

Those that could found bows and shot back into the trees, to cover the retreat of their people further up the path and out of danger. But Men were more like dwarves in their battle tatics than Elves, and preferred to fight on the ground, which set them on equal footing and it was quick for the dwarves to overpower the men by sheer numbers alone. As the battle wound down Thorin felt a sudden pain across his neck. Surprised he brough his hand up to it.

His vision swam, and before he could check if there was blood his knees gave way. He wasn't sure if he actually heard Fili scream his name, but he gave a silent apology to the boy and the wry thought that he would die here crossed his mind and that dark amusement inside him bubbled over.

And then all went black.


	16. Chapter 16

Fili was not allowed into the tent they had set up to house Thorin, who had been made sick by the arrow. He had watched with wide eyes as his Uncle was carried past him and into the tent, the shaft of the arrow sticking at an awkward angle out of his neck, and then the Tent flaps opened and closed and Fili was left outside arms like a vice around his brother and refusing to let go no matter how Kili squirmed and complained.

No one had told him how Thorin was, and everytime he asked someone, normally Dwalin, would put a hand on his head and say "He's still with us." But Fili didn't like that answer, because it wasn't true. Thorin was not with him, with them, him and Kili. He was inside that tent and Fili was still not allowed to see him. Surely if his uncle was sick then it would help him get better to see his nephews.

But no one else seemed to agree with this, despite the fact that he had been very grown up when he explained it to them, and hadn't thrown a tantrum even when he was refused again. So he spent the days in the company of Dori, Nori and Ori, and while he normally enjoyed the company of the older dwarfling, who always let Fili be the leader even though he was a whole eight years older, he simply could not bring himself to play.

But Ori understood at least. Kili was being annoying all the time, always pulling on Fili's braids and running off when he shouldn't and Fili was starting to lose his temper with him. He wanted Uncle Thorin. Because Kili wouldn't go to sleep for him, not propourly, or for Dori either, always restless and making distressed little sounds Fili didn't know how to fix. Fili wasn't big enough to rock him like Uncle did, and Kili seemed to know that it was someone else and didn't like it.

It was a combination of all these things that one night pushed Fili from another attemot at sleep disturbed by Kili. With an annoyed sigh he decided that enough was enough and got up, reaching across and pulling Kili to his feet a bit more roughly than he had intended. Taking his brothers hand he marched across the camp and to the tent, coming to a stop in front of Dwalin, who looked her bemused at being confronted with two sleep bedraggled children.

"We need to see Uncle please." Fili said evenly, blinking tired, but determined eyes up at Dwalin.

Dwalins face took on that look Fili was being to hate, the look that said he was about to be dismissed as being too young to fully understand what was going on. But Fili had had enough, all he wanted was to go inside, curl up beside his uncle and sleep, and he was more than certain the Kili wanted the same.

"Lad, go on back to bed." Dwalin said. "We'll have a talk in the morning."

Fili swallowed a sudden lump in the throat and did his best to be as brave as his Uncle in the stories Dwalin had told him. "Has Uncle gone back to the earth?"

Dwalin started and immeaiadtly rushed to reassure. "No! Mahal no! He is still with us."

Relief flooded through Fili, but he didn't let himself sag. He held himself up to full height and held Dwalins gaze squarely. "Then we need to see him. Now." he put as much of his Uncles tone as he could into that sentence.

There was a silent standoff, even Kili was quiet, like he knew this was important. Finally Dwalins face softened and he stood. "Come on then." he said, lifting the tent flap. "But be prepared, he is not well."

Fili nodded and tugged Kili inside the tent. There was a lantern set low, with only just enough light to see by. Fili kept tight hold of Kili's hand, who gave a small squeal of delight when he recognised Thorin laying there and then perceeded to whine when Fili did not let him run across to him.

Thorin did not look well at all, a bulky bandage tied offaround his neck where Fili remembered seeing the arrow, his face wet with both sweat and the water Oin, who was kneeling beside Thorin, was wiping across this brow. Oin threw Dwalin an unhappy frown when he saw the children, but Fili, in hopes of forstalling being sent away said. "We need to be with Uncle. It will make him feel better." he did not say it would make him feel better, and that Kili would stop being restless at night. But then, grown ups always seemed to know things like that without being told.

Or at least, Uncle Thorin had always known.

Oin nodded, slowly, and soon Fili had pulled Kili to Thorins other side and squashed them both between his uncles arm and leg. Kili whined again, but settled quickly and Fili as finally able to drop into his first real sleep in days. Because Thorin was there, still alive and would get better, Fili was sure of it.


	17. Chapter 17

Thorin woke with a start, and immediately all the pain and stiffness of his injury and recovery hit him at once, making him groan.

"Thorin?"

It took him a moment to put a name to the concerned face hovering above him. "Oin?" he questioned.

The blurry head nodded. "Aye indeed. How do you feel?"

Thorin took stock, testing his limbs as best he could. "Stiff," he reported. "And my neck aches."

"Aye, well, it would of course. Your lucky the arrow missed anything vital." Oin shook his head and made a show of checking the bandage at his neck and Thorin, feeling far to weak to do much else, let him fuss. Casting his mind back to recapture how he had been injured in the first place. "Arrow tip was poisoned." Oin continued to explain. "It took me a while to find the right combination of herbs to relieve the symptons, at the very least it was not a deadly poision."

"The boys?" Thorin asked roughly, his mouth dry with both thirst and a little fear.

Oin made a tutting noise and held a mug to his lips for him to drink. "Just fine. Been barging in for the last three nights to sleep beside you." he shook his head again, this time with a bemused expression. "Rest some more Thorin, you'll see them later."

Thorin wanted to protest, but whatever the drink was, it made him drowsy and he was once more asleep.

Thorins next waking moment was filled with his nephews delight at seeing him better, and Dwalins embellished recounting of the night Fili had demanded he and his brother be allowed in the tent. Fili was pressed in close to Thorins side, blushing deeply and refusing to awknowlege Dwalins words.

"He's perfected your glare." Dwalin said at last, reaching over to ruffle Fili's braids with a grin.

Thorin gave a small chuckle, oddly proud of this statement and gave the boy a reassuring squeeze as best he could with the pain that still flared down his arm from his wound. Kili was once more chewing happily on Thorin's hair, content with his place, and Fili seemed too embarassed to regale Thorin with what they had been doing these past days, so Thorin took the oportunity to question Dwalin.

"How many days have we missed?" he asked.

"You've been sick a week." Dwalin reported dutifully.

Thorin bit back an unhappy sigh. "And the people?"

Dwalin shrugged. "Content enough now that news has spread of your waking."

Thorin snorted at that and Dwalin gave him an assessing look. " It is not that I believe you speak untruths." Thorin said. And he did not, because he could well see his people worrying for him, but he felt at times such faith and care for him was misplaced, no time more than now.

"My friend, you are a good king. If they did not believe in you they would not follow you, you know this." Dwalin said.

Thorin shook his head. "They expect me to lead them into a land of plenty Dwalin, they expect me to take them back to Erabor." he looked at his nephews, as much for reassurance as anything.

"You will. Of that I have no doubt." Dwalin grinned. "And should the signs come after you pass on then I'm sure Fili and Kili will retake it in your name. But until then Thorin, we know you will do the best that you can, and we can ask no more." Dwalin said.

Thorin shook his head once more, but said no more, not wishing to lay too much bare before the children, though neither seemed at all perturbed by the discussion. Dwalin took his leave soon after, leaving Thorin with his nephews. Kili was already winding down after a long day and was resting is head against Thorins uninjured shoulder. Fili reached across and tugged Thorins hair from his brothers mouth before settling back into the spot he had claimed.

Thorin searched for something to say, some way to comfort Fili. He was filled with the irrational need to tell the child that he would not leave them, that he would always be there. But that was a reckless promise to make, and one he could never hope to keep, for anything could happen.

He was pulled from his search for the right words by the feeling of Fili toying with the Royal Seal that hung from his neck. "That is a Princes Seal." he said. Fili's hands stilled, but he did not recoil, just looked up, interested. Thorin continued. "When a Prince is born the king will take a peice of metal and make a Seal. Into it he will put all of his hopes and dreams for that Prince. He will ask for the Blessings of Mahal to make that Prince strong and wise, fierce and gentle. He will mould it into the shape that Prince will become, for when the Prince becomes the King, this Seal will become his mark upon the world." He looked at his Seal, he seal his grandfather had put about his neck when he was a babe and felt a sadness inside him suddenly.

"I think you are all those things Uncle Thorin." Fili said, with such certainity that Thorin could not help a small chuckle at the statement, and the look his nephew gave him.

"Thank you Fili." he said. Fili nodded, pleased with himself and settled himself back again and was soon dozing into sleep. Lulled to sleep himself, Thorin remembered the seal his grandfather had made, his last act as king before they marched on Moria for his sisters younger son, a promise for a better life they would never see.

When they reached the Blue Mountains he would light a fire hotter than dragons breath, and should his first forging there be a new Princes Seal, well, he would not be disappointed with that.


	18. Chapter 18

They lingered no more than a day more after Thorin had woken. Thorin had pushed that they leave as soon as possible. The Blue Mountains were still far from them, and he wasnted the get there in good time. They needed time to Hollow the mountain before winter set in, time to gather what food they could from the land around it so that the next year they could start life afresh.

Thorin hoped the rest of they journey through the Shire went without incident, but unless there were more bandits hiding in the trees, which he was always careful to check for now, he knew the halflings here were a peaceable sort, at least, as the stories about them said. But even so he was wary of the whole company descending down upon the town of Hobbition and so directed them south and through the countryside, following old paths through the Shire. But they could not avoid the Hobbits forever, as much as Thorin might have wished it.

It was a turn of events Thorin had still yet to wrap his mind around. They had literally turned a corner to find their way blocked by a veritable small army of halflings, all armed with welcoming smiles. Thorin was immeadiately introduced to Isumbras the fourth, Thain of the Shire and head of the Took clan. And suddenly they had all been bundled along to Took Hall, a grand Hobbit hole set up for large gatherings.

Thorin was not sure if he shouldaccept such hospitality, but his host very quickly took all choice from his hands.

"Some of our young'uns saw you." The Thain explained with an easy smile. "Thought it a bit strange you hadn't gone straight through Hobbiton quickest way through to the mountains. Thought you likely had your reason though. But even so, its always nice to see a friendly face and have a good meal and a nice burrow to sleep in when one is travelling I dare say." There was a wicked gleam of mischeif in the halflings eye at that statement giving Thorin pause.

Where halflings not supposed to be cautious and wary of strangers? Home loving creatures with no taste for adventure? He was sure those were all true, they had been repeated so often in what few stories people told of them, but this halfling had the look of someone who had left his home and travelled, prehaps not as far as Thorin and his people, and certaintly not for the same reason.

He said as much, winching when he realised what he had done, but the halfling was not insulted.

"We Tooks are something of an oddity amongst hobbits." he admitted. "It is a rare one of us that does not leave the Shire for some adventure or other."

It was an oddly peaceable night, spent in good company. The Hobbits asked questions, but never pressed for answers when none could be given. They traded tales and passed food and the time it came for sleep each and every dwarf felt, for a small time at least, as if they were not alone in the world, that there was still something good in the world.

Come morning everyone woke refreshed, and Thorin had to admit the Thain had been right, a night underground, even if it was not near as deep as their old mountain home, did leave them all feeling refreshed, and Thorin was all the more determined to get them to the Blue Mountains quickly.

The Thain came to him before they left and passed him a bag. "Seeds, for the next sowing season."

Thorin looked at the bag and shook his head. "I cannot accept this. You have already given us too much."

The Thain gave a laugh, a merry sound. "A meal and a bed are expected when a Hobbit has a guest. These are in thanks for the good company." and the hobbit thrust the bag into his hand and dug his own hand deep into his pockets to stop Thorin returning it. "Safe journey."

And that was it, they continued on their way, a far happier lot now and the journey through the remainder of the Shire passed without incident, though they were invited into no other hobbit hole along the way, but that did not matter. The Blue Mountains waited for them, and soon they would be there.


	19. Chapter 19

They were camped on the edge of a stream, taking advantage of the warmer days of the coming summer and the water to get some nessecary cleaning done. Children made unhappy sounds as those who had become their families dragged them bodily into the water and scrubbed them clean. The water ran near black with the dirt that they scraped off themselves, but it was worth it in the end.

Fili had borne a vigorous scrubbing with as much diginity a child could, which meant he squirmed and made noises of complaint until Thorin bribed him with the promise that he could braid Thorin's hair later,which had made the boy stop complaining pretty quickly, it was considered agreat treat for dwarven children to be allowed to braid an older member of the families hair. Braiding was considered to be perhaps the most important of all Dwarven traditions. Braids could tell another dwarf allabout you in one look.

It spoke of what sort of dwarf you were, of you had children, a wife. If you were a warrior, a miner, a farmer. If you were lowborn or highborn. Every braid that was weaved into both hair and beard told a story and was to be worn with pride. The lack of braids told a story as well. As did the beads and clasps worn, but there was still many years before Fili would need to know about those.

Kili screamed murder, and Thorin spent much of his time casting hooded glares across at Dwalin, who was chuckling away on the bank, Fili beside him who was trying to smother his giggles with his hand. It took more effort than Thorin wanted to admot to keep a hold on Kili long enough to scrub him clean, and he did not much like the idea of the other dwarves watching him and judging. He finished as quickly as he could and deposited a still wailing Kili with Dwalin as punishment before going to find a more secluded spot for his own cleaning.

Later, when the campfires were lit and supper eaten, Thorin pulled Fili down into his lap and began fixing his hair back into the tidy braids. Kili sat close by, playing with some wooden contraption Bifur had made for him, his dark hair standing on end, looking wild, but Kili never stayed still long enough for anyone to fix his hair, and even when Thorin did manage to drag his comb through it it was always mussed again a miniute later. Thorin dispaired of trying to get the enegetic tyke to sit still long enough to put his hari up in the tidy braids when it was long enough.

The air stank a little of burnt hair when Thorin was done, but both he and Fili were used to it as it was the fourth time the braids had been redone. But neither noticed the way Kili's nose wrinkled at the smell, and how he had moved his play further away, until he had lost all interest in the toy and decided there was something much more interesting elsewhere.

Thorin was explaining some of the simpliar braids to Fili, showing him how to weave and set them, forgoing the more complicate grieveing braids he had worn for the whole of the journey and allowing Fili to practice. It was only when Fili gave a cry of happiness at completing a whole braid on his own and said "Kili! Come look!" that Thorin realised he had not heard the child playing for a while.

No one Thorin asked had seen Kili and Thorin was not sure if he should be furious with his nephew or his watch. Though a sliver of almost pride wormed its way in there as well, because he knew those set to watch took their job very seriously, and for Kili to have gotten past them was no mean feat.

This was not the first time a child had gone missing within the camp, children were prone to disappearing from their parents sides, and a system was very quickly set up to check if the child was still in the camp, or had been seen. Kili was neither of these things, which somehow did not surprise Thorin in the slightest, and did nothing whatsoever to calm his fraying nerves. Fili's look of fear for his brother was not helping and Thorin left him in the care of Dori and strode from the camp.

"Kili!" he yelled, hearing the echoing calls up and down the banks of the river, he had to force himself to look at the water, which before had been welcome but which now looked like a deathtrap for a child not even a year old. It was Gloin he came to find him to say they had found Kili playing among some rocks on the other side of the camp away from the river.

Thorin had decided on furious by the time he reached Kili, who was sitting in Oin's arms looking confused at why everyone looked so angry and upset with him. When he saw Thorin he gave a happy cry and help his arms out to be held. Thorin blinked at the sheer audacity of it, for the boy to cause so much worry and to just expect to be hugged as if he had done nothing wrong.

Thorin reached to take him, intending to scold him harshly, shake some sense into a head he could already tell was never going to hold much of it. But when he took hold of him the relief that had been warring against the anger broke through and he ended up crushing the boy against his chest.

"Never do that again?" he said, his tone far less scolding than he had intended, and far more desperate. "Do you hear me. Never again." He was sure Kili didn't understand a single word he said, didn't understand why Thorin was so relieved, and so very very angry, but that didn't matter so much right then. "let's get you back to your brother before he decides we've taken too long and goes off to find you himself."

Kili turned his head on Thorins shoulder as they made their way through the camp and back to Fili and looked at the river, a small shudder ran up his spine, which Thorin thought only to be the sudden chill in the night air. It wasn't, but it would be some time before Thorin realised that.


	20. Chapter 20

Thorin was growing concerned. Though he had been asured that Kili's little adventure outside the camp had brought no harm on the child, neither by injury or illness, Thorin was concerned. Kili had fallen into a very unnatural silence. He would come back to himself if Thorin or Fili distracted him, but if left to his own devices Thorin would check to be certain he was still there and had not wandered off again, only to find him staring in the direction of the river with a solem expression on his face.

Some of the children had taken to playing down at the waters edge under the watchful eyes of their parents, Fili among them and Kili fussed so much that Thorin took him down to the water himself thinking he wanted to play as well. But Kili screamed blue murder before theyreached the bank and buried himself in Thorins chest and clutched his hair in an unrelenting grip.

Though most who saw the sight gave small smiles, assuming the child thought he would be getting another bath, others frowned deeply and Thorin began to hear whispers that the boy must be seeing Omens.

One of the reasons Battleborn were held in such high regard, despite the deep seated fear everyone felt for one, was because of their ability to see "Omens". It was not that they could see the future or read the signs of prophecy. It was a more that they saw things, smelt things or heard things and those things were immeadiately catorgorized as a threat, a natural instinct that had been lost as civilsation grew, where danger was not always seen until it became inevitble. It was a gift no Battleborn could explain, it simply was.

"Do you sense anything?" Thorin asked of Dwalin. As the only other Battleborn Thorin knew he had to ask, to see if there was a reaonable explanation for Kili's odd behaviour.

Dwalin shook his head. "Nothing. I have been keeping a watch where he does and I've seen nothing."

Thorin was disappointed.

"But, my friend, remember that he saw those men in the trees before I did. What he senses may be something too small for me to see just yet." Dwalin reminded him gently.

"Should we move away from the river?" Thorin asked.

Dwalin shrugged. "It may be safer, at least we'll be able to see if the boy returns to normal if we do."

Thorin glanced back towards the river and then down at Kili, who was clutching the fur of his coat, head turned towards the water and he truly did not like how solmen the childs eyes were. "Say nothing as to why, but get everyone moving away from the water, we'll cut across the grasslands."

Dwalin nodded and left to do just that. Thorin cupped a hand to the back of Kili's head. "I do wish you could speak. Perhaps you could tell me exactly what the problem is."

A small shudder passed through Kili and Thorin immeadiately turned his head towards the river hoping to see whatever it was his nephew saw, but there was nothing but the running water. No sounds other than those of the camp and the of water running across rocks.

They moved away from the river then, and Kili did indeed start coming back to himself, but there was still the odd time when he would look in the direction of the river and frown as if he had lost something. But days passed much more pleasantly after this, Fili took Thorin's suggestion that they should start encouranging Kili to speak to heart and began to very seriously teach Kili all of the most important words he would ever need to know.

Of course the first word Kili decided to voice was "No." and it was used with great happy abandon and Thorin tried to remember why he had thought Kili being able tospeak was a good thing. Of course, the way Fili's whole face lit up in the proudest of smiles when Kili squealed out "F'li no!" in the middle of a tickle fight made the whole thing worthwhile. And as if the floodgates had been opened Kili began to chatter away like a magpie, most of his sentences made no sense, just a string of words he had heard that he thought were interesting and Thorin was inundated with "What" and "Why"

The Blue Mountains could just be seen on the horizon, and the spirits of the company had lifted dramatically. But their trail through the grasslands had brought them to a lake that was not marked on any map Balin had in his possession. Kili had taken one look at the large body of water and began to cry. Thorin was startled because Kili rarely cried, and certainlty not without some reason.

Dwalin was already scanning the still waterfor somesign of what the problem was. Thorin saw his expression change the instant he saw itand was already turning away to shout for everyone tomove back, away from the water when the water itself exploded outwards. Thorin spared one glance behind himto see what the creature was only to be greeted with a sight he had never before seen. Then he was reaching down for Fili, only to be met with air.

"F'li." Kili uttered, sounding stricken and Thorin closed his eyes and turned into the chaos erupting behind him.

The beast that rose from the water had the head of a horse mounted on a body of a sea seapent. A long tail whipped about around it,its end split into twenty or more tentacles. And there, twisted tightly in one of them along with a dozen of his people was Fili.


	21. Chapter 21

Thorin was torn. He wanted nothing more than to loose his sword and charge the beast, but todo so would mean either taking Kili into battle with him, or prying his white knuckled fingers from his coat and leaving him to stand alone and vulnerable before the beast. His only alternative was to run, find someone to take the child and then return and hope to Mahal that Fili was not yet dead.

It was like the world slowed to a stop, a terrible slow motion that he could not break from, frozen in place. Then he felt something try to tug Kili from his grasp and s sword was half drawn before he recognised young Bofur, eyes wide and frightened, mouth moving and hands up.

And then everything rushed back into focus and all he could hear was the utterly terrifying sound of Fili screaming for him, and without a second thought he shook Kili loose and passed him into Bofurs waiting arms, ignoring the way the babe screamed for him and turned to the beast, drawing his sword fully. Dwalin was already in the water, hacking at the beast with his twin axes seeking to kill it before it could do more damage. Balin was beside his brother, fending off the multitude of smaller tentacles that sprouted like the legs of a centipede from the creatures body.

With a roar of rage Thorin joined the fray. Some if his warriors were hacking at the creatures tail, hoping to get it to loosen its grip on their people. But the creature just writhed against the blows,making a terrible screeching sound. Then Oin shouted. "Fire! Take the torches and burn it!" Gloin was in the water, with torches in hand.

The creature recoiled, and seeing their chance the warriors each turned to get one, but Thorin did not, because to his horror the beast was returning to the darker part of the lake and was preparing to return to the water.

"No!" He yelled, and with a strength borne not of rage, but of desperation he charged it, swiping at the tail with all of his might, joined by the quicker of his warriors who set their newly acquired torches to the wound he had left. The creature flailed once and then the tentacles began to loosen and those that could squirmed their way free.

But with a final wrench the beast pulled away and Thorin could only watch in horror as it disappeared, Fili still in its grasp slipping under the water with a final, haunting cry of.

"Uncle!"

And then it was gone and all of the strength left in Thorin went with it and his knees weakened under him.


	22. Chapter 22

Thorin was not the only dwarf to lose someone to the beast. Bofur, who had returned Kili to him when they had set up camp as far from the lakes as they could bare to be, had lost his cousin to the creature, but offered a small hesitant smile that faltered on his face as grief washed over him in waves. Thorin did not return the smile, only took Kili from the youth, never turning his gaze from the lake that twinkled merrily in the afternoon sun, all trace of the monster gone.

"F'li." Kili said mournfully, like he knew something had happened, like he knew Fili wasn't coming back.

Thorin could not take it and deposited the boy on the ground and got to his feet, striding away, back towards the lake. To do what he did not know.

Kili caught up to him before he really hit his stride and he had to stop to pull the babe off his leg. "No!" Kili cried out to him, hands grasping at everything he could find, anything to keep him with Thorin. "No, no, no, no, no!" But Thorin managed to pry him off and push him back. Bottling up a flash of guilt when the child hit the ground, a look of shock crossing his young face.

"No." Kili tried again, his voice wavering, eyes big and hopeful.

And Thorin turned from him and was hitting full, angry stride before the boy could get to his feet. He nearly stopped, nearly turned back, when he heard the howl of utter desolation behind him. His heart stuttered at the sound and his feet stumbled just a fraction, but in the end he pushed past it and as he neared the water he began to run.

He was far enough from his people that they could not hear his own scream, his cursings upon Mahal for taking Fili. His fruitless demand for the beast to reveal itself to him again, so that he might take its life, or it take his. They could not see him fallto his knees in the shallows, head bowed as grief washed over him again, in a torrent unlike any he had ever felt. Was he destined to lose all those he came to love. Was his line destined to end with him?

Was Erebor doomed to stand as a Lonely mountain forever, with a King never again residing within it's halls.

How long he stayed in the water he did not know, but when he finally raised his head the world had grown dark and the water glittered with starlight.

It was Balin who waited for him on the shore, Thorin was not surprised. Dwalin had been consumed with anger after the fight with the creature and had strode from the group to search the short of the lake and the banks of the rivers flowing from it to calm himself before he did something he would regret. Thorin only wished he could have accompanied him.

With considerable effort he dragged himself to his feet and out of the water and staggered across to Balin, who held out his cloak to him. Thorin took it, for the summer had not yet reach it's full heat and the nights where still cool. Wrapping it around himself he took a seat beside Balin.

"He can never rest in the Halls of waiting." Thorin said hoarsely after a time, unable to keep his fears to himself.

Balin heaved a sigh, one of heavy agreement and saddness.

Had Fili died and they could committ his body back to the earth then at least Thorin would have been able to take some comfort that he would be in the Halls of Waiting, and that his sister-sons would welcome him as their brother, and when he was finally committed to the earth himself he would rejoin them all. But to know that Fili was doomed to remain a lost soul was too much to bear.

Finally Balin broke the silence between them and said. "Kili is still at the camp. Dori is watching him."

It took Thorin a moment to realise that Balin meant this as a comfort. But Thorin could not accept it as such. Swallowing down the thick emotion in his throat he got to his feet and stood tall. "Then let Dori watch him then. We need to start making plans to move on. There is nothing else we can do now."

Balin got to his feet as well, looking surprised. "Thorin, the boy is your nephew and is in need of your comfort. And mayhaps you might find some comfort with him."

Thorin shook his head,letting his eyes sweep in one last sorrowful way across the lake. "I have no more nephews Balin. And I do not have time to spend caring for a babe. We need to press on to the Blue Mountains and we can have no more delays."

"Thorin!" Balin said, clearly unhappy with his statement. But Thorin could not listen to more. His mind made up he turned from the lake and strode back towards the camp, walking past Dori who was waiting to offer him Kili, without a second glance, leaving Balin to make any explaniations and careful to make certain he did not see Kili's face for fear his resolve would crumble.


	23. Chapter 23

The days that passed were like a blur to Thorin, as they went further from that trice damned lake, crossing the river further upstream where the water was too shallow for any beast to hide, though alleyes watched the water with wary expectation. Those who walked with him were silent at least, though Thorin could feel the heated glares from Gloin and the disappointment that rolled fromBalin in waves.

Dwalin said nothing, but his own unhappiness bled through in other ways. What had been a happy company just days before was reduced to a state of grieving once more.

In accordance to his wishes no one mentioned Kili to him, but he strained to hear if there was anything said about the child, a part of his heart twisting and protesting that he should just go and find the boy, scoop him into his arms and stop closing himself off. But he could not bring himself to do this, he could not risk letting the child any further into his heart. Not with the curse he seemed to carry.

But he heard nothing, so he let himself assume everything was fine, that someone else would form a family bond with him and that would be the end of it.

Kili didn't understand. He didn't understand a lot of things anyway, because grownups were strange and confusing at the best of times and always seemed to be doing something or other and never having anytime to really play with him. Not like F'li, who was just about the best big brother in the whole of the world as far as Kili was concerned. But F'li was gone now, taken away by the monster in the water, the one that had been following them down the river for days.

Kili had tried to tell Uncle, he really had, but he hadn't been able to find the right words, he didn't have a word yet for monster. Maybe if he did have a word for it, maybe Uncle wouldn't be so mad with him. But Uncle had been mad for along time, and not made in the way he told Kili to stop eating his hair, or mad like he had been when Kili went to play in the rocks that one time. This time Uncle was really mad and hadn't come to get him from Dori yet.

Sleep was wrong without Uncle there, and everything else was wrong without F'li. And Kili didn't know how to fix it.

He had tried to find Uncle again, slipping under Dori's watchful gaze, but he'd been caught by Dwalin who had taken him back and he hadn't even gotten to see Uncle. He'd tried to find the words to ask where Uncle was, but he didn't think Dwalin understood him.

The longer it took for Uncle to come get him and for F'li to come back, the more unhappy he felt. He refused to eat what Dori tried to feed him, and ignored everyone, checking to make sure they weren't Uncle, and when they weren't he would turn back to his toy, F'li's toy that Kili had liked and F'li had given him.

He just wished F'li would come back soon, so Uncle would stop being mad with him, and would come and get him. Because Kili was really sorry, even though he didn't quite know what he'd done wrong, but he was sorry all the same.

Dori was worried, and shared his concerns with Balin, who stopped by when he could to check on Kili. The child was listless, not eating, not sleeping, and he was not acknowledging anyone or anything around him. He was pining for Thorin and Fili, that much was plain, but there was so very little they could do about it. Fili was lost to them, and Thorin was as good as, his heart already turning to stone as the days passed.

But finally, on the fifth night Balin had reached the end of his tether with Thorin, as had everyone else. The lad was a good King, but he could be so much better if he stopped trying to be someone he was not. Dori came to him, looking a little panicked, Kili was running a fever. Oin was called and Balin watched, frustration mounting as Thorin tried to look disinterested. The fear in his eyes spoke of how deeply he was affected and it was high time an end was put to this charade.

"What is wrong with the boy?" Balin asked after Oin had examined him.

"Exhaustion, hunger, thirst. The boys a wreck." Oin said.

"Give him to me." Balin said, and when he had the babe in his arms he marched across to Thorin and without ceremony, dropped Kili into his lap.

"Balin." Thorin said, his tone one of warning.

Balin gave him a look. "See to your nephew Thorin. Before we lose you both." and he turned on his heel and walked away.

Thorin summoned a glare,but in the end it didn't hold up when he finally processed what Balin had said, and he looked at Kili, who was flushed, an ugly red across a paper white face and stirred restlessly. Dark eyes blinked open blearily and it took the boy far longer than was normal to focus on his face, but when he did, a small hand reached up to him and a happy smile lit up Kili's face.

"Un'ca."

Thorin looked up and away from those relieved eyes to find those he normally shared a fire with had moved away to give him some privacy and a bladder of milk had been left close by. Self recriminations, and there would be many, would have to wait until later.

He had a nephew to tend.

The last nephew he would ever have.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Text

By the time they reached the twelfth day Kili had mostly come back to himself, but was still unnaturally listless and clung to Thorin, who no longer had the heart to try and push him away. The first time he had tried to give him back to Dori to mind for a few hours Kili had exploded into tears and Thorin had not gotten more than two steps away before Kili's; "Un'ca! Is Saw'ri, saw'ri Un'ca! Un'ca No!" cut him to the bone and he was turning back and gathering the boy into his arms. He didn't know where Kili had learned the word "Sorry", but it was not a word he wanted to hear him say again. Not when he wasn't at fault of anything.

Fili's absence was keenly felt. Kili asked after him often, just small, throwaway comments and Thorin had tried to explain, tried to make him understand that Fili was never coming back. But nothing he said made any impact.

Kili seemed firmly convinced that Fili would be returning and Thorin did not know what to do, especially on the twelfth day when Kili, perched on his shoulder, fists clenched in his hair stirred suddenly and began to bounce wildly, crying out. "F'li! F'li!"

"Stop it Kili." Thorin said, weary, reaching up to steady the child.

Kili gave his hair a sharp tug. "Un'ca! F'li!" And he pointed, dead straight, not ahead, but a little to the side where Thorin could only just make out a small sheen of gold beyond where the goats were herded ahead of them. But he had mistaken things in the past number of days.

"Kili stop it." he repeated, but without anger. Kili was still too young to really understand.

"F'li!" Kili said stubbornly. "Un'ca! F'li!"

Thorin closed his eyes and pressed on, never altering his course, refusing to look where Kili pointed. Refusing to let himself hope. Then Kili tried to launch himself from Thorin's shoulders. Thorin barely caught him before he hit the ground. Kili struggled in his arms until Thorin let him go. Unable to stop him anymore. Hoping that maybe when faced with the disappointed, the proof that what he was was Fili was not, that Kili would stop, just for a while.

"F'li!" Kili gave an exuberant squeal and Thorin turned his head, unable to watch that hope diminish.

Then Kili let out a scream and Thorin's head turned in an instant, though the scream had quickly turned to happy giggles, and he blinked in shock. There was a murmur behind him and suddenly Bofur and Bombur where shoving their way through the other dwarves and past Thorin and were running pell mell across the grasslands to crash into Bifur with happy cries.

But Thorins eyes were riveted on a sight some distance from him, where Kili was rolling in the grass with a child who could only be Fili. "Uncle!" the boy called, his voice bright and happy, his face lit up in delight at being back with his family. Thorin was striding across to them, lifting Fili from the ground with one swoop and crushing him to his chest.

"See, F'li." Kili said, looking up at Thorin with a wide grin.

Thorin gave a helpless chuckle to hide a sob. "Yes Kili. You were right. F'li indeed." And he resolved then and there to never doubt Kili's eyes again.


	25. Chapter 25

Fili had woken to a harsh pounding on his back, and a string of words he couldn't really understand and the feeling that he was drowning as he coughed up the remains of the river. Shaky and weak and very, very cold. When he had finally choked out the last of the water the pounding gave way to gentle rubbing at his back, and he felt comforted, though very, very confused. There was a another string of words and the whole world finally snapped back into focus.

"Bifur?" he questioned shakily.

There was an affirmative grunt and Fili looked around to see the older dwarf, who gave him a crooked smile and a reassuring pat before getting to his feet and crossing what Fili could now see was a cave to poke the monster that lay there hard with what remained of his spear.

"Mister Bifur!" Fili cried out, shrinking back, afraid the creature would spring to life once more.

Bifur made a dismissive sound and poked the creature again, harder, before nodding and removing a knife from his belt he began to cut into the flesh. Fili watched in a mixture of confusion and horror, but Bifur did not seem to require his input, so he stayed silent and watched, wondering where they had ended up. All he remembered from before the water closing over his head was screaming for Uncle Thorin.

He looked around the cave and back to the monster. Uncle Thorin must be very worried, and Kili was probably frightened. Neither of these things sat well with the boy and he frowned deeply, and while Bifur continued to cut chunks of flesh from the monster he decided to look for a way out.

He avoided the water hole that they had most likely been dragged up through, he had been subjected to far too much water already, so he took to the side furthest from the water and after some serious searching he found a small opening. "Mister Bifur!" He called. "I think I found a way out!"

Bifur looked across to him, but took the time to wrap up what he had cut from the creature before getting to his feet and ambling across, checking the opening and sticking his head out of it and into the darkness beyond. He made an approving sounding jumble of words and gave Fili another pat on the shoulder.

"I think maybe we should go now. Or Uncle Thorin will be very worried." Fili said.

Bifure nodded, and in his next string of words Fili recognised "Bofur" and "Bombur" and nodded sagely. "They'll be pretty worried too. So we should get back to them quickly."

Bifur squeezed out of the opening first, and made Fili wait for a moment before he let him join him. It was very dark in the tunnel, and though Fili's natural ability to see in gloom was making the gloom slightly less, it could not penetrate this much shadow. And if Fili happened to take a tight hold of Bifur's hand and not let go, well, it was only because he didn't want the older dwarf to get lost, and everybody knew the Bifur got confused sometimes.

The caves were long and damp, and it took days to cross them, and by the time they reached the end and daylight Fili was quite sick of the raw fishy flesh of the monster and the slimey water that dribbled down the walls of the cave. They emerged bedraggled and messy into the grass and sunlight. Fili was even glad to wash himself in the small, shallow and completely devoid of monsters, pool of water Bifur found.

And then they had turned in the direction of the Blue Mountains, because that was where everyone else would be heading. Fili wanted to go back, not entirely sure that Uncle Thorin would have left the lake, but Bifur was insistent and so it was to the Blue Mountains they went. Fili kept his eyes peeled for any sign of the others, really wanting to be with his Uncle and Kili again.

And then finally he saw them as a dark, moving shape behind them and he tugged on Bifurs arm insistently. "Look Mister Bifur! They're there! Come on! We need to get to them!" and he took off at a mad run towards them. He ignored Bifur's rumbling shout, likely calling for him to stop, that it could be dangerous. But Fili didn't care, because his Uncle Thorin and little brother were over there somewhere, and all he knew was that he needed to get to them.


	26. Chapter 26

Fili's return let Thorin truly see that his people did veiw Fili as his heir and his miraculous return was celebrated as any heirs return from hard battle. Bifur was congratulated as well for protecting the young heir. The grizzled dwarf just sent all those who approached away with growls and dismissive getures, content in his way with his two young cousins.

This was how Thorin found him later, when he had finally assured himself that Fili was fine and uninjured and had heard the whole story at least three times.

Bifur, Bofur and Bombur sat a little apart, eating what food had been presented to Bifur in thanks, bantering back and forth in an odd mix of Khazdul, common and igenlesmek, with the relief of someone who had found lost Kin. Thorin was loath to intrude, but he needed to express his own thanks. "Bifur." he said.

The other Dwarf turned to him and Bofur and Bombur fell silent. Bifur made no move to dismiss him and Thorin cleared his throat.

"I wish to offer you my deepest gratitude for looking after my nephew these past days." he said, and inclined his head in as much of a bow as he could without it becoming obscene. A King did not bow, especially not to a Lowborn, even fellow rulers got no more than a slight incline of the head.

As he turned to leave he heard Bofur burst into a furious round of whispering and he hid a smile. He had paid them an honour, and he would long remember why he had. Then he returned to his nephews who lay in a snoring heap in his cloak and he felt so much lighter than he had felt in an age.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Text

The Blue Mountains loomed ever closer, but even so near to them it seemed that their troubles were not over. Dwalin, who had taken a few dwarves ahead to check the way, returned with news that there was a delegation waiting at the base of the mountains. One of Thorin's grandfather cousins, who held the mountains to the north of the river, had first extended the hand of welcome. Offering the South Blue Mountains as home for the survivors of Erebor.

Thror had rejected this invitation of welcome, determined that they would retake Erebor, and when that seemed impossible then Moria would be theirs. It was entirely possible that those set to meet them at the mountain were as much there to turn them away as to welcome them.

After quick council with Balin, Oin and Gloin it was decided that Thorin and Dwalin should meet with this delegation first, because it was plain that their ragged, tired company would not be able to take the Blue Mountains by force, not that this would be an option in truth.

So, early the next morning Thorin entrusted Fili and Kili into Dori's care, though he guiltily did it when Kili was still asleep because he could not bare to hear the babe scream for him again. And then he and Dwalin set out hours before the rest of the company would begin to move, to reach the Blue Mountains and the delegation from the North.

"Cousin!" came a cry as they approached and Thorin felt himself tense in readiness of dismissal. But the greeting he received was a warm one and his cousin took his hands and led him into the large tent that had been set up.

"It is good to see you. We had thought you lost to us when no word came." Henrin said, pouring some ale for Thorin.

Thorin cast a look to Dwalin, who shrugged minutely, and Thorin realised just how ridiculously young they all were, and how much they had not learned and forgotten. It had not even occurred to him to send word ahead of them, and act he should have known to do. He tried to remember if his grandfather had sent a response. Surely he had not been so far gone in his madness tat he had forgotten.

But if he had sent his refusal it was obvious his cousin was overlooking it. Which Thorin was grateful for. Perhaps later he would feel slighted that they made such assumptions about them, but for now he was only relieved that he would not have to return to his people and tell them that they were doomed to be forever mountain-less.

"Thank you cousin." he said, drinking his ale and reacquainting himself with a taste he had not had for a truly long time.

Henrin waved off his words with good cheer. "You may not thanks us for it. The mountains here are not the most hospitable of places. The stone is hard and there is precious little to find in its depths. It will be a hard life for you here." he said softly.

Thorin nodded, appreciating the candid nature of his cousins words. "We shall manage." he said. They had managed so far.

"You must send word when you are settled. My father will wish to make a visit." Henrin said easily.

Thorin nodded. All a matter of course and tradition and a way for their benefactors to check that they were not building an army on their doorstep and planning to attack them. Not that, in truth, there was any true expectation of a war between dwarves, but tradition was tradition and was made to be followed. No matter how Thorin despised these traditions he too was bound to them.

"We shall send word." he agreed. It meant he had three years to settle his people as best he could before the King of the North Mountains would invite himself down to meet with him.

They engaged in conversation for a few more hours, until at last their company could be seen approaching. Henrin gave him a smile. "It is good to see you cousin." he said again, sincerely. "It is good to know that the line of Durin remains unbroken."

The memory of Dis and his sister-sons no longer held as much pain for him now, so Thorin nodded his agreement, his mind already with Fili and Kili.

"We shall leave you then cousin. I have had more than I care to of sleeping outdoors."

Dwalin barely hid a snort, but the delegation did not seem to have noticed and one by one they left, leaving Dwalin and Thorin at the foot of the Blue Mountains.

When the rest of the Comapny arrived there was a hush as everyone took the time to breathe in their success and send their silent thanks to Mahal for allowing them to reach their destination without further casualty. It was broken only by Fili coming to Thorin with a distinctly bewildered expression and eyeing Thorin warily, carrying Kili awkwardly as the small boy clung to him.

"Uncle?" Fili said, coming to stand beside him, sounding worried.

Thorin bit back a sigh, after all this was his fault, and reached down. "Kili?" he said softly. Kili's head lifted and his face was streaked with tears.

"He keeps calling for you Uncle." Fili eplained, looking unhappy. "I tried to tell him we were going to meet you again at the mountains but he just kept crying. Is he sick again?"

Thorin gave Fili as much of a reassuring smile as he could manage and lifted Kili. The child locked his arms around Thorins neck like a vice. "No, he's not sick." he said.

"Your Uncle just did something very silly when you were missing." Dwalin said, earning himseld a warning glare, to which he just gave and unrepentant stare right back.

Fili gave Dwalin a disbelieving look, sure that his uncle never did anything silly ever, and pressed himself to Thorins leg.

"So what are our plans laddie?" Balin asked, stepping up beside them.

"We'll camp here tonight. Tomorrow we'll go into the mountains to find somewhere to begin digging." Thorin said and Balin nodded, leaving to pass the word around the company. Camp was set in quick order, and another celebration was set in motion,and by sundown they were singing and laughing and making plans for the future, for the homes they would build and the families they would raise.

It would be a hard life, but they would make it their own, of that Thorin had no doubt. And as he sat just slightly apart from the camp, looking down at them with his nephews playing before him, and his friends milling around, Thorin let himself send his own thanks to Mahal.

They had made it.


	28. Chapter 28

Thorin paused just out of sight, content for a moment to just watch his nephews play. Fili was directing the play of a number of young ones, Ori at his right hand nodding shyly along with whatever Fili was saying, and Kili close by who was throwing himself into the game with happy abandon. Dori and a few of the women were close by, watching the children play o as to free up as many of the adults as possible to help with the digging and fashioning of their new home.

Young Bombur had made himself indispensable, presenting some charcoal drawings he had made of halls and rooms on the journey, each one simple but elegant in their way, and none of them filled with the awkward gilt of the old halls, which meant construction would be easy enough. Thorin had offered the youth a smile and accepted the drawing, passing them to Balin to see if they could be made reality.

Months had passed and construction was well on its way and the Mountain was slowly becoming a home to them once more.

Kili had stopped panicking when he left them with the other children and begun trusting that Thorin would be coming back for him before bedtime, and when his brother had settled Fili was much happier as well. And at last Thorin had the time to go to the newly constructed Kings forge, and with the first of the iron found in the mountains he had made the first forgings of his new home.

Into Fili's he had poured his hope for his heir, his wish that the boy would continue to be good and kind and loving. That he would grow to be strong and wise. That he would be free of the curse of the Durin line, free of the the gold sickness. He gave his prayers that his Fili would be forgiving, because Thorin knew he would often be harsh though he would not always mean to be. But most of all he poured his love into the metal, because Fili was the child of his heart, and had things been different he might have called him son. They had found each other through strife, and had built a bond that would tie them together forever.

Kili's had been harder, not because Thorin loved him any less, but because Kili himself was difficult to pin down. Kili was a force of nature all his own, thrusting himself into lives and refusing to let go. So Thorin had taken that thought and let it run through his arm and into the metal. His wish for Kili was that he didn't change, that he stayed just as he was, loving and loyal, that he would stand by his brother in bond for the whole of their lives. His hope was that his nephew remained free. His prayer to Mahal was that Kili would be forgiving. And he poured his regret and sorrow into the metal, an apology that he hoped Kili would recognise and overlaid it with unconditional love.

They sat heavy in his pocket, two Princes Seals, that would close the bond between the three of them, but Thorin felt not their weight, for they did not drag on his heart, but lifted it. He stepped from his place of observation and waiting for his nephews to see him.

"Uncle!" Kili yelled, as always the first to notice anything new. "F'li! Uncle!" and he caught his brothers arm and pulled him from the game. Fili did not protest and allowed Kili to pull him to their uncle.

"Hello Uncle." Fili greeted with a grin.

"Fili, Kili." Thorin greeted them in return before giving in to Kili's insistent demands to be held, dropping his free hand on Fili's head warmly and Fili grinned up at him happily. "Come now, we need to get home." he said.

The return to the rooms that had been dug for them was met with half nods and knowing looks from Dwalin, Oin and Gloin, and even Bofur hid a grin behind his hand like he knew what would be happening tonight. Balin gave him a proud look, with a gleam in his eye that said plainly "I told you so", which Thorin ignored.

The ceramony itself would wait for another day, but tonight it would be made official.

Thorin's life would begin anew, and the past and future could wait a little longer, because he wanted, just for a while, to enjoy what he had.


	29. Appendix

Chapter Text

History of Middle Earth (in regards to Thorin and the dwarves of the Lonely Mountain)

1. The Battle of Moria happened long before Fili and Kili were born, but for the purposes of this story I needed to change the dates, so it happened much later.  
2. Thrain, Thorins father, was actually the one who set up the dwarves in the Blue Mountain, and there were not actually any other dwarves living there before them as such. I changed this because in my headcannon for this story Thrain was sent by Thror long before the battle of Moria to try and reclaim Erebor, but never returned and was presumed dead, Thror refused to accept that their only choice was to travel to the Blue Mountains and live there by invitation of his cousin Usar (made him up, sorry).  
3. Fili and Kili are not Thorin's nephews. Sorry, but it had to be done.  
4. I am disregarding everything Tolkien said about how dwarves form families and this whole "One" business because it just doesn't fit.

Terms and Traditions.

1. Dwarf Grief and Burial.  
Dwarves commit bodies to the earth, if a body is not committed to the earth then it is said that the soul cannot rest in the Halls of the Waiting, and they become restless spirits. Sharing Grief is an important aspect of dwarven death, the living will gather to share stories of the dead, sing and celebrated their life, and weep over their passing.

2. Stoneheart  
This is the name given to a dwarf who has allowed his heart to be come as stone, usually through the refusal to share grief upon the death of a loved one, but can happen for other reasons, such as if a family bond is not made with an orphan child. Dwarves with this affliction can function just as other dwarves, but are cold and unforgiving, they cannot show love or compassion, and feel nothing save cold apathy, not ever the passion of anger or vengeance can be felt by these dwarves. It is the complete loss of feeling in the heart, and is considered to be a grievous affliction with no cure.

3. Battleborn  
This is the title gifted to a dwarf child born in the heat of battle. The Battleborn are considered to be blessed by Mahal, as they all grow to possess great instincts, and have a natural ability with weapons, are stronger and more suited to battle. Though this may be because they are pushed into training far earlier than most children, and their live are centred around battle and war. Battleborn, while considered a great asset to any dwarf kingdom, are feared because of BattleLust, which is a temporary madness a Battleborn can enter in the heat of battle, and while in the madness kith and kin can seem like enemies and the Battleborn will kill all in their path.

4. Family Bonds  
This is a bond that forms naturally between members of the dwarven race in times of great strife, as in this story when so many had lost family, they will form bonds with orphans and widows and widowers so as to allow the race to continue and all within it to be cared for. This bond can form among any and is not a decision any make consciously, it just happens.

5. Heirs  
Highborn families put much stock in blood, and so their heirs will always be of their own blood, unless it is impossible and no hope of a blood heir is present, then they can name another not of their blood to take their name and continue the line. Because of this if they form a family bond with an orphan who is older than their blood children they will never make this bond official, and the title will fall to the blood child and will leave the elder to live with the shame of being considered Unfit for Purpose.  
Lowborn families do not follow this rule, and family bonds are considered as important as blood and the eldest, regardless as to whether he is blood or now is name the heir of the fathers business.

(if theres anything else you wish me to explain, please let me know, but I think I've covered everything)


End file.
